Archive for category Birth Father

Meeting The Family: An Adoption Reunion

<— (Packing: Where the Past and Future Collide)

Vancouver, BC became “Seattle for a few months while we get approved for Permanent Resident status.” Without rat-race jobs you have to have proof of funds. $12659 Canadian. In the nearly three years we’ve been here, we’ve watched the exchange rate play with our emotions, but we stayed optimistic and saved our pennies.

Then, eight weeks ago, my wife found her birth mother.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

On April 30, we will be picking up our moving van and moving to a small farm in Texas to get to know the family.

We flew out once, but stayed in a hotel. These ARE strangers, after all.

C’s parents kept in touch with each other over the years, so when we visited we were able to meet her birth father as well. The two of them looked so cute together and behaved like teenagers. They kept staring at C.

“She has your hands!”

“She has YOUR nose!”

“Remember the time when…”

They laughed and joked and played and reminisced. Our trip turned into a family reunion. It was the best birthday my wife ever had.

The next night, we went to a small hamburger-joint/ice-cream-parlor. While sitting there, C’s birth mother and father discovered the plot to break them up all those years ago.

It started with a flippant remark. Something about the girl he dated after she left to have the baby. It turns out it was a set-up and a one-time thing to cheer him up for when she disappeared.

“When you didn’t answer my letters, I thought you’d moved on,” she said.

His face fell. “What letters?”

“I wrote to you every day for the first month”

His eyes glassed over.

She continues. “…and you never…”

He shakes his head.

They sit silently, connecting the dots. They each thought the other had left them.

He never knew why she left so abruptly without a word, she never knew why he ignored her explanation and dated someone else while she was gone. Even though they went to high school together for another year and saw each other at the annual homecoming game, this was the first time they had ever talked about their breakup.

Shortly after graduation, C’s mother met the love of her life, to whom she’s still married. She lives on a large plot of land. Part farm, part ranch, part homestead – it has hayfields, a barn, a cabin and two houses (with a third coming soon) – along with horses, llamas, rabbits, cats, and dogs.

We’ll be staying in the cabin.

C’s father married twice. The second time stuck. He has a child for each marriage. He lives a few towns over.

C’s mother never had any other children.

They seem like nice enough people, and I look forward to knowing them better.